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Religion and Faith

Religion and faith are complicated – they can be a source of comfort, a safety net. When life gives you lemons, God opens a window, right?

But sometimes things get so bad that instead of feeling like a safety blanket, faith feels more like a wet blanket.

When I received my collective diagnoses, I emotionally crashed. I felt abandoned by God. What did I do to deserve all of this? What did any of us? It was this depression that led me to avoid going to Temple for months.

It took a lot of analyzing and reflection before I was able to come to terms with any of it.

So how? How can a loving God put someone through all this pain? Even if God only gives us what we can handle, why should we have to handle this?

I learned that I needed to redefine God in my head. Maybe God doesn’t control every little action, and has no effect on my illnesses. Maybe God is more like how we think of ghosts – an essence that we can turn to for companionship and comfort, even if they cannot change things.

Sometimes, having someone to talk to is all we need, rather than someone to actually fix everything.

I hope that these thoughts help you, in some or any way. If you have other thoughts or ideas, let me know!

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